– Death Faced –
My Mom had a near-death experience when she was 18 years old in which she saw a peace-giving light. After that she started to pursue spiritual things because she knew that death wouldn‘t be the end. Besides being hungry for esoteric and occult experiences, drugs like alcohol and cannabis started accompanying her life. She wanted to find that peace-giving light once again but was looking for it at the wrong places. When my Mom was 21 years old I had the privilege to discover the light of the world (I’m talking about my birth). What about my Dad? He had aggression, drugs and probably other issues in his life. He threatened more than once to kill me. And one time, as it got pretty serious, my Mom and I escaped to a women’s refuge house for safety.
– Two Colliding Worlds –
The logical consequences of the things which occurred was divorce. Being filled with fear and having a single Mom, I didn’t have a rosy future in sight. Over and over again I stood out in a negative way at school. Throughout my childhood I had regular nightmares and many times woke up screaming. A world we can’t see with our natural eyes then started to become visible to me. I saw things I did not want to see and heard voices I did not want to hear. I was facing darkness. But I knew that if there is evil, there had to be the good. And occasionally I felt a supernatural peace that was with me or even heard an audible voice gently calling my name.
– God The Life-Giver –
When I was about 11 years old, friends from the village next to where we used to live, told us about Jesus. From then on my Mom and I encountered the one and only God that delivers and gives us joy. My Mom’s life was dramatically changed after the supernatural intervention of Jesus. She stopped using drugs and started to handle life well. I was fascinated to see what God had done in my Mom’s life. But for myself, I didn’t want to let Jesus come too close to my heart even though I would still hear His voice clearly – knowing details about others or God showing me things about the future. But my life was still being influenced by great fear. For example, I was so scared of the dark that I only stopped sleeping without a light when I was 13 years old. When I was 17 years old, I came broken before the Lord the first time. It was November 2007. I told Him that I had been deceiving myself all my life. I tried to be strong by myself, not showing any feelings, and I told myself for years that it did not bother me growing up without a natural father. All the walls I had built around my heart collapsed. I started to experience how God became my Father and that He cares for me. And I was able to forgive my biological father. And God also delivered me from those frightening encounters I had regularly been having.
– And Now? –
Literally every day I feel what it means to be loved by God. So now I want to give other people the opportunity to get to know Him too; this powerful and loving Father I now experience myself. There is nothing in my life that would qualify me to do what I am doing except for me saying, “Yes” to the living God. My Mom remarried an amazing guy in 2012. And it is always a great pleasure to spend time with them. Our Father truly is the redeemer!